Opinion: Storms to siege San Diego shores
It’s time to strap ourselves down in preparation for possibly the most intense stretch of rainfall California has seen in years. Ominous gray clouds, pouring rain, nasty conditions.
They call it El Niño.
This little weather devil is not to be underestimated. The recent gossip around school no longer spreads the rumors of hook-ups, break-ups or scandalous weekends, but rather about a record breaking storm crashing its way through the west coast.
El Niño, the wave of heavy rainstorms that comes from the Pacific Ocean, is instrumental in increasing statewide rainfall.
It is a mystery if California’s citizens will be able to handle this rapid transition from summery, warm days to rainy, stormy days for more than a week in November. And drizzling no longer can be defined as a rainstorm.
Soon it will be time for everyone to look under all of those worn-in shorts and pull out coats and sweaters to keep warm in the stormy months to come.
While the general population mourns as they rummage through their closets, weather forecasters can’t get enough of this weather change. In fact, if it wasn’t for the sake of keeping their professionalism intact, they might be holding parties in the newsroom every day. They finally get the chance to give a weekly forecast that has more variation than the standard sunny, sunny, partly cloudy, routine.
Meanwhile, out in the many stores and shop windows of San Diego, retailers are going just as nuts. They are being relieved of the curse of selling shorts and tanks for the next four months. They are being blessed with squeaky, shiny, rain coats in every shape and size imaginable, all hung on the front racks with bright neon stickers reading SALE, and HALF-OFF.
Word on the street is that this year, raincoats designed like cute yellow ducklings with bright orange polka dots are going to be the next best thing.
And because retailers are feeling particularly festive, they’ve decided to throw galoshes into the mix.
Imagine the look on those California kids’ faces when they walk into those stores and pick up those galoshes, staring dumbfounded at them as though they were a foreign artifact from an archaeological dig. You can almost hear the shop manager laughing behind the counter.
Oh, yes, and umbrellas too! Sorry San Diego, patio and beach umbrellas don’t count for this one. But you get credit for trying.
We’re talking old-fashioned personal umbrellas that can be carried with one hand on the way to work or school. You know...the ones designed to keep you dry when the raindrops come falling from the sky.
Perhaps you own one. Impressive. But you share it amongst a family of five. All things considered, that’s still pretty impressive.
But you might not be able to resist the new innovative umbrellas that are expected to hit the shelves any day now. These new umbrellas have ultra-comfortable gel grips, extra-wide hoods, and can fold up to fit in your wallet. All that and your choice of pattern and color.
Truly a bargain. And folks, it’s time to start the new fabulous trend. Go out, spend a few bucks, and pick the umbrella that’s right for you. But be warned, supplies won’t last forever when the demand is so high. It might be considered the height of blasphemy if you end up with the last one: an ugly, mustard-yellow umbrella.
You definitely wouldn’t want that ridiculously unfashionable thing in your hand when the demon El Niño catches you by surprise.