Santa has cheated us.

Every year we work hard for him. We bake him our best cookies. We set out an ice-cold glass of milk.

And after we do all of this for Santa, providing him and his team with ample sustenance, how does he repay us? He turns around and fills our houses with toxic toys.

It happens every holiday season, without fail. One of the “hot” toys was either riddled with lead, made with unstable parts, or built with hazardous qualities.

This year, Santa was sneakier in his devious motives than in the past. The item in question this year is the adorable Zhu Zhu Hamster. Who would ever expect that the fluffy, cuddly creature could contain antimony, a metal that can cause cancer, as well as heart and lung problems?

And he’s even side-stepped a crushing barrier he usually faces when his plans for the year become exposed; he has managed to avoid a recall on this toy.

The U.S. government is lending a helpful, dark hand in his efforts. Back when the toy first had to get approved, it was found that there was antimony in fewer than 60 parts per million of the toy, which is the federal cut-off. But recently, a consumer watchdog group called GoodGuide has discovered more than 93 contaminated parts per million in one particular Zhu Zhu Hamster toy named Mr. Squiggles.

But through lobbying efforts of the company that produces these toys of destruction, the federal government has stood by their original decision, and is allowing for the manufacturing and distribution of the toys, without a recall.

While this might seem the fault of the government, or the company that produces the toys, we all know that they are merely figureheads for the mischief-making Santa Clause Workshop Corp.

It is time for us to revolt against the cruel regime of Boss Claus. If anyone has bought one of these insidious Zhu Zhu toys, return it to wherever you got it. Refuse to come within a 20-foot radius of Mr. Squiggles.

Strike the coveted product from the wish lists of young Joey and Abby. Show Santa that we will not stand up for a farcical excuse for the key to a joyous holiday season.

And while you’re at it, those cookies and milk we talked about earlier? As long as Santa is slipping us toxins in our presents, we can return the favor by slipping him something unpleasant in his frosted gingerbread men.

Just an idea to toy around with.